In Between

  Today after class, a few students and I found ourselves reflecting on the passing of time and how quickly it all seems to go.

The good times, the difficult times, the ordinary days in between—they all pass. And lately, I’ve been feeling especially aware of it.

I find myself in a bit of an in-between place. Somewhere between the life I’ve lived with my daughter for the past 19 years and whatever comes next.

I’ve been reminiscing a lot. Looking backward, wondering about the future, and sometimes realizing that my attention is everywhere except where I actually am.

Except when I’m teaching.

Or moving my body.

Or taking the time to really breathe.

In those moments, something shifts. I am here. And somehow, I’m able to slow time down just long enough to taste it.

I’ve also had this strange and beautiful awareness lately that this moment—the one I’m living right now—will someday be something I feel nostalgic for too.

For so many years, raising my daughter gave my days a rhythm and structure. Her schedule helped dictate mine. My work was fueled by the desire to provide, to build something meaningful, and to create a successful business alongside being her mom.

And now, things are changing.

There is more space. And if I’m being truthful, sometimes that space feels a little empty. The drive that propelled me for so many years doesn’t feel quite the same.

Maybe it isn't supposed to.

One thing I know about life is that it never stops changing. We move through seasons and identities, sometimes willingly and sometimes before we feel ready. And perhaps the work isn't always to immediately fill the space or figure out what's next.

Maybe sometimes the work is simply to be here long enough to notice what is changing.

To move. To breathe. To pay attention.

To let there be some space between what was and what will be.

And to remember that while we’re wondering what comes next, this is our life too.

I look forward to seeing you soon in a class or our upcoming soundbath.

With love,

Lila